We all have a family member (sometimes more than one!) or a friend who just loves to create drama. I mean, don’t we have enough going on that we don’t need to get everyone else riled up? What do you do with them? There is more than one way to deal with a monkey creating havoc at the zoo!
For the preservation of my sanity, the names in this post have been changed. Although they may realize that they have similar traits to the following characters.
Bonnie has a younger sister named Julie, who is very narcissitic and can not go one minute without being the center of attention. Julie will often tell lies to make herself important. These lies are related to her “supposed medical treatments” and she doesn’t tell the same lie to everyone. No, she tells a different lie to lots of people and gets upset when those people talk and discover the truth. She will wait until you are least suspecting turmoil and create drama in your life. She does it because she is beginning to feel like no one is paying attention to her. Bonnie has on numerous occassions told her sister Julie to stop lying and creating drama. After one particularly hurtful lie directed at Bonnie, Bonnie decided to confront Julie once and for all. The end result, Bonnie has enjoyed 8 months of blissful peace in her life.
Teddy has a friend who is a drug addict. Teddy very rarely sees his friend and it seems like on the rare instance that they see each other, Bob always needs a favor. These favors range from needing food, a couple of dollars for gas, to a place to stay. Teddy wants to be a good friend and help Bob get his life together, so what does he do? He tries to help Bob get a decent job, help him get to rehab and just generally get his life together. How does Bob repay his friend? He steals from Teddy and blames him for his actions. Bob often states that he can’t live up to everyone’s expectations and that’s the reason he turns to drugs. Teddy chooses to ignore the behavior and in the end becomes an enabler by allowing Bob to continue down the wrong path while Teddy continues to give him handouts.
Both Bonnie and Teddy are doing what they feel is the best option for them. We as humans need to determine our own path and set boundaries with others. If you are tired of the drama that always seems to be lurking in the background, it is up to you to do something about it. Stand up and tell others that you can’t take it anymore and walk away. I do that everyday. Sometimes it’s just the words out of the mouth of a loved one. If they do or say something that I feel is totally out of line or I just don’t want to deal with , I simply say “Not My Circus” and walk away. You gain more respect by standing your ground than you do by letting other use you as a doormat!